2018,
The year I forgot why sports are interesting.
I’ve felt it fade, slowly degrade, over the last couple years.
But now it’s gone.
No interest at all.
Depleted, a well of dust.
Why did I care so much?
Why did I wear other peoples’ names on my back?
Why did their accomplishments make me smile?
Why did their failures make me wince, weep?
What’s interesting about seeing someone hit a ball?
Throw a ball,
Catch a ball?
Honestly, I can’t recall,
and I feel so foolish for how deeply it once mattered.
I have my life.
My own hits and misses to be concerned with.
If I strike out, I feel it: Sorrow.
So I know I’m still a human,
but I feel so far away from that foundation I was raised on.
I’ve forgotten where the Shortstop should shift,
When to throw a change-up,
or even what that pitch entails.
I can’t quite clearly visualize the infield fly rule like i used to…
and I don’t mourn the absence of that knowledge.
I only wonder why it ever mattered at all.
2018,
The year I forgot why sports are interesting.