New website!

All my artwork -digital, ink, other - all my comics, all my poetry and other endeavors will be posted there.

I no longer use this blog for new posts. So please, go see my new website. 

www.derrickgwood.com 

Psychosis Through Screen Time

 

A Few Limericks

 I know that the word, 'Limerick' is usually associated with short little rhymes about sex or large male body parts, but I came up with a few to amuse my children. So these are a few family friendly (according to my values at least) limericks that I made up:

There one was a man named Barry Berrymore

Who fell off a cliff and was very sore

He took a turn for the worse

Wound up in a hearse

Now they must bury Barry Berrymore.

_______________________________________

There once was a juggler named Lout

A club juggling wizard, no doubt

The only issue was,

Whenever he does

The bowling alley has to kick him out.

_______________________________________

There once was a man named Wong

Whose beard was three meters long

But whenever he skis

His beard would freeze

And that icicle drags him along.

_______________________________________

There once was a man named Wesley

Who looked just like Elvis Presley

The only problem being,

He really hated, "The King"

So now he, er...she, goes by Leslie.

_______________________________________

A Poem Parody of Under The Boardwalk

Another Boardwalk (Sung to "Under the Boardwalk)

My favorite ride's broken down and there's dead fish all over the beach,

Tickets cost so much, my wallet may as well be outta reach.

Another boardwalk, is where I should be,

I wouldn't come back to this place, even for free.

Another boardwalk

Games are all rigged.

Another boardwalk

Surrounded by screaming kids.

Another boardwalk

People doing some drugs.

Another boardwalk

My food's covered in bugs.

Another boardwalk....boardwalk.

Oh the bums tug my pants asking me for some of my change,

And like cockroaches, the hoodlums come here to gangbang.

Another boardwalk, is where I should be,

Everything 'bout this place gives me the creeps.

Another boardwalk

Games are all rigged.

Another boardwalk

Surrounded by screaming kids.

Another boardwalk

People doing some drugs.

Another boardwalk

My food's covered in bugs.

Another boardwalk....boardwalk.

Another boardwalk, maybe Hong Kong?

This place is nothing like it was in that great song.

A Poem Called, "Zerotette"

"Zerotette" By Derrick G. Wood

I started a band,

but the drummer was a bummer.

So I kicked him out!

In that same band,

the flutist was the rudest.

So I kicked him out!

That very same band,

had the meanest pianist.

So I kicked her out!

And in that same band,

The cellist was so jealous.

So I kicked her out!

What's with this band?!

The bassist was a racist.

So I kicked him out!

Now looking around this studio,

I feel so angry, I let out a shout,

Then, ashamed of my short temper,

I decide to kick me out.

An Art Called Bananabalism

 So, this one was a bit of a group effort. My fellow humorist eight-year-old daughter asked me, "If a banana slug ate a banana....is that cannibalism?" I immediately knew that had to be on a t-shirt. I changed the idea slightly (with her approval), added the word, ''Cannibalism" to it, then showed it to my friend, Andy. He immediately said, "No, dude... it needs to say bananabalism.'' I knew he was right for sure, made the changes, and here it is. I'm very happy with it and am actually wearing the shirt as I type this. You can get the shirt (or sticker, mug etc) HERE if you so chose to send me money which I promise not to use on drugs, alcohol, or Tom Cruise movies.

Just Playing With My Initials

 As long as I can remember, I've doodle around with my initials to try and get them to look cool or artsy. The round right edge of the D and the round, counter-facing edge of the G can go together in some interesting ways, but the angular W always throws me for a loop. I have a hard time making all three letter work together. I did, however, like the way this one turned out. Sort of a blocky, minimalist approach.

Green Jellö ''Rock N Roll Pumpkin'' Tribute Fan Art - Logo

 Rock n Roll Pumpkin by Green Jellö is one of the most exciting and energetic songs of the 90's. It's my absolute favorite song by them and in my top ten for songs that combine the theme of rock n roll with pumpkins. 

My Creatures Galvanized

 Here is a long string of my creatures taking all the disgusting stories and images from TV, processing them, and turning them into beautiful music.

A Once Rural Sunset (With Poem)

As a child, I would stare out West

And watch the Sun descend,

As an adult, I stare the same way

Only now I must pretend.

The Art Heart

All I knew is that I wanted to draw the word ART in a heart shape. Here is a video of me going through several options until I landed on the one pictured above:

 

A Black and White Art

It wasn't intentional, but I can't look at this without seeing ice cream, candies, pirouettes, and sprinkles. Funny thing about that is I don't even generally eat sweets, but this came out of me for some reason.

Four Tentacles, One Eye

 

Mother and Child

 

A Rather Irritated Creature That My Pen Just Birthed